When you focus on what you have to offer instead of the needs of others, they discern it and quickly lose interest. Even in an endeavour as noble as sharing your faith, you can become so engrossed in your presentation and in ‘getting results’ that you leave the other person cold. In his book Presenting to Win, Jerry Weissman points out that when people communicate, they focus too much on the features of their product or service instead of answering the question, ‘Can you help me?’ The key, says Weissman, is to focus on the benefits, not the features. He writes: ‘A feature is a fact or quality about you or your company, the products you sell, or the idea you’re advocating. By contrast, a benefit is how that fact or quality will help your audience. When you seek to persuade, it’s never enough to present the features of what you’re selling; every feature must be translated into a benefit. Whereas a feature may be irrelevant to the needs or interests of your audience, a benefit, by definition, is always relevant.’ Caring about the other person must always be your motive and starting point. Paul writes: ‘If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate…If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love’ (vv. 1, 3 MSG). Bottom line: first, you must care about others.
