How else can we support someone who’s experiencing grief, perhaps for the first time in their life? Here’s some advice: 1) Be honest. If you’ve been through grief yourself, let them know that it’s a process, not something that’ll just suddenly disappear one day and they’ll wake up feeling back to normal. If it’s appropriate, share something of your own experience so they know they’re not alone in how they feel. 2) Accept how they’re feeling. ‘There is a time to weep…to mourn…to lose’ (v.4, 6 NKJV). Don’t try to make light of their pain or expect them to get over it quickly. (We might try to do this because we’re uncomfortable with witnessing someone else’s grief, but it’s really a privilege to be trusted so much that they feel safe to share their raw feelings of loss.) Give them the space and safety to feel sadness, anger, confusion, and any other emotion that can come with grief. 3) Be a sensitive listener. Ask how they’re feeling. Everyone’s grieving process is different, so don’t assume you know what their emotions are at that moment. If they need to talk, give them the space to talk; if they want to sit in silence, simply sit with them and let your presence be a comfort to them. If they want to pray, pray with them. 4) Let them be honest. Sometimes a grieving person needs to relieve pressure by expressing negative emotions like anger and resentment. If their loved one was suffering, they may feel a sense of relief, as well as guilt for having that feeling. They may be angry at God. Thank them for being honest, and ask them if they want to talk more about how they’re feeling. A true friend in a time of grief is such a blessing. Let’s not be afraid of helping someone through loss.
