Benjamin Franklin’s formula for a happy marriage was this: ‘Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.’ One of the reasons marriages end in divorce is because we see only what we want to see. And if we saw obvious faults that could destroy the relationship, we allowed our heart to overrule our head and thought, ‘He or she will change after I marry them.’ What you turn a blind eye to today, you forfeit the right to complain about tomorrow. So if you’re wise, you will do these two things before you make the decision to marry someone: 1) Discuss openly what you will and will not accept in your relationship. These things are called ‘deal breakers’. Things like abuse, infidelity, alcohol and drug abuse, anger and moodiness, and buying stuff you can’t afford. If you think breaking up with someone now is painful, wait until you’re married with children, and mortgages and families are involved! The Bible says, ‘Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?’ 2) If there are no deal-breaking concerns, but you basically fear the unknown, use your faith in God to bridge the gap between your doubts and the peace you wish for. Don’t invent reasons not to commit. Stop nit-picking every flaw in the other person. The Bible says, ‘His name will be called Wonderful, Counsellor…Prince of Peace’ (Isaiah 9:6 NKJV). Pray together and give the ‘Wonderful, Counsellor’ a chance to guide you in your relationship choice. God instituted marriage; when you do it His way, you can enter the highest halls of human happiness.
