A pastor advises, ‘To regain true intimacy, physical and emotional, to restore the closeness you once shared, you must be willing to allow your heart and soul to reopen.’ If you have been hurt, that’s not easy. But you must be willing to risk exposing yourself to the unknown in order to reconnect with one another. He continues: ‘To bring a marriage back from the brink of divorce is not easy; in every union, there are unique considerations that must be worked out…Whether the problems in your marriage arise from external circumstances, such as losing a job or undergoing a home foreclosure, or problems with the relationship, such as an affair or addiction issues, you can only rebuild your relationship by revitalising what you once had and reconnecting with each other…The first step in reconnecting with your mate is to practise the art of getting to know the other person.’ The Bible says, ‘Treat your wife [or husband] with understanding as you live together.’ And ‘understanding’ your partner’s needs takes time, attention, and effort. The minister adds this: ‘What typically happens when we are first trying to figure out someone is that we put them in a box based on who and what we think they are. Then we stick a label on the box that we hope will follow them for the rest of their lives. Truly knowing someone is not about deciding who they should be and then wanting them to stay that way forever. The mystery of knowing another requires commitment to lifelong learning.’ If you’re serious about rebuilding your marriage, make ‘understanding’ one another your highest priority.
