Perhaps you have heard the joke about the lady who told her friend, ‘I didn’t know what real happiness was until I married my husband, and now it’s too late.’ Seriously, that doesn’t have to be your story. Through God’s wisdom, love, and grace, you can rebuild your marriage. To do it, you will need to learn the art of openness and allow yourself to be vulnerable, transparent, and ready to trust again. The only path to truly connect with someone is to genuinely allow that person to fully know you – your worries, struggles, lack of confidence, hopes, and dreams. It is natural, especially after you have experienced hurt or rejection, to want to shield yourself and your heart from more pain. Doing this makes complete sense in other parts of your life, but in marriage, shutting down your soul to your spouse will definitely result in further pain. Like property increasing in value over time, your marriage builds equity over the years. Like methodical investments into a savings account, modest deposits add up. Your shared experiences, such as the day when your child drove off to [university], the company the two of you sacrificed and saved to start, the death of your parent after a lengthy battle with cancer, the birth of your children, or a surprise week-long trip to celebrate your birthday – it all counts. These experiences come together as a beautiful canvas of intimacy that portrays your lives together. They also bring God’s blessing. ‘He who finds a wife [or husband] finds a good thing, and obtains favour from the Lord.’
