Most of us have heard that the best way to comfort suffering people is with silence, and listening. There’s often time for a few words, though. The Bible definitely suggests so. Take a read of 1 Thessalonians 4 and see what it says about comforting people who are grieving with truth. But. There has to be a posture behind our words. What’s that posture? Availability. Tony Campolo once ended up at the wrong funeral. He found himself with the body of an elderly man and his widow – the only people there. So Campolo stayed for the funeral and then accompanied the widow to the cemetery. As they were driving away after, Campolo confessed that he hadn’t actually known the man. ‘I thought so,’ she replied. ‘I didn’t recognise you. But it doesn’t matter. You’ll never, ever, know what this means to me.’
Philip Yancey writes: ‘Simple availability is the most powerful force we can contribute… We rightly disparage Job’s three friends for their insensitive response to his suffering. But read the account again: “When they came, they sat in silence beside Job for seven days before opening their mouths”…those were the most eloquent moments they spent with him. Instinctively I shrink back from people in pain. Who knows if they want to talk about their predicament or not? Do they want to be consoled or cheered up? What good can my presence possibly do? My mind spins out these rationalisations and as a result I end up doing the worst thing possible: I stay away.’ So stay. Stay on the sufferer’s terms. But stay.
What now?
If you thought of a suffering person yesterday, today think: what would be the best approach to being available to them?
