Confronting someone spontaneously can end really badly. So it needs prep. Otherwise, it’s like going shopping without a list and ending up with nothing but bags of chocolate. If you go into a confrontation without prep, you’ll probably reach for the easiest emotion in the heat of the moment – anger. In fact, prepping for confrontation is almost as important as the confrontation itself. It allows you to look at the situation clearly, rather than getting caught up in an emotional moment. What can help us prepare? Why not start with praying this psalm: ‘You have searched me, LORD, and you know me…you perceive my thoughts from afar…Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely’ (vv. 1-4 NIV). Negative emotions, like anger or resentment, can get in the way. So it’s important that we deal with these first, otherwise they’ll be the emotions we reach for in the confrontation. Fear can be a big problem too. We’ve got to make sure that we don’t let fear of confrontation make us abandon the whole idea of initiating the confrontation. So confrontation will be much more successful if you’ve taken the time to prepare your heart first. ‘Deceit is in the hearts of those who plot evil, those who promote peace have joy’ (Proverbs 12:20 NIV). God can work on the other person’s heart while you’re preparing yours – so keep focused on your own preparation and leave the rest to God.
What Now?
Hopefully you’re feeling a lot more prepared. One last thing – ask God to help you remove all anger and resentment from your thoughts. Now, you should be in a great place to deal with the confrontation in a positive way.