Ever done a personality test? One thing they can point out to us is our level of openness. Are we people who let others in or keep them firmly out? Keeping people out can be a coping mechanism. We build barriers around ourselves to avoid anyone getting too close and knowing too much about the ‘real’ us. How many times have you been asked, ‘How are you?’ and replied ‘I’m fine thanks’ when really, you’re as far from fine as possible. There’s a time and a place for sharing, but it’s easy to end up always wearing that mask. Being ‘real’ with people is important in relating to others and in building meaningful connections with them. But keeping that mask on can feel a lot safer. Showing others who we are, good and bad, can be scary. It opens us up to the possibility of being hurt, rejected or made to feel like we’re a disappointment and not good enough. Vulnerability is a risk. But it’s a risk that needs to be taken to help each other do life well. By showing people your brokenness, you can find support and you become closer to others. It also makes other people more comfortable with opening up about their brokenness, insecurities, hopes and fears. The Bible says that ‘two are better than one’ because we can help each other when things fall apart. Wouldn’t it be great to live in a community where people were real and honest with each other, where we acknowledged that we are all human and need help sometimes, where we shared what we’re facing so we could pray for each other? That sounds so much better than living in an ‘I’m fine thanks’ world, agreed?
What now?
Next time a friend asks, ‘How are you?’, tell them the truth. If you’re not feeling fine, ask if they could help you and pray with you about it.